KakuHida Drabbles
by LadyGoslingGrimm
Summary: A few drabbles I threw together. Some have plot, some are snippets. C1: Hidan's a college bartender that does side work every month as the county's mass murderer. Kakuzu works the college's financial department. C2: Daily Life Scenes
1. Chapter 1 : College AU

**KakuHida Drabbles from August 2019**

Don't have to be read as a group but they can generally fit in the same AU.

* * *

Hidan's back collided with the wooden wall as he was lifted up, teeth bared and violet eyes boring holes into the man in front of him.

'The fuck do you think you're doing Kakuzu…'

Kakuzu merely smiled at his irritation "Putting you in your place Hidan."

He had half a mind to just knee the old bastard and run, but the pressure on his crotch suggested otherwise as the hands holding him to the wall wound into his hair, applying pressure slowly but surely. So _that _was the game he was going to play.

'Hnngh... Kuzu you know that's s-sensitive!' The heat focused in his stomach started to spread up to his neck, turning his head to the side when his cheeks warmed.

A bite to his jaw made him jerk, hissing at the nip.

Kakuzu chuckled at the reaction. "Don't egg me on next time, Hidan." Dropping him, Kakuzu left the room.

Rubbing his face in annoyance, Hidan locked the door behind him. Fuck a repeat of that. 'I didn't egg you on, bastard..' he muttered, grabbing clothes off the floor of the room. Throwing them into the basket next to the bathroom door, he stripped off his shirt. Poking the bite he'd gotten, Hidan grimaced in the mirror. "Fucking prick."

* * *

It was the late afternoon crowd at the Nine Bar two blocks from the college. Hidan glanced up as the door chime rang, plastering a smile on his face as he cleaned the glass in his hand "welcome to the Nine!"

Oh well shit he knew this guy. Long dark hair, green eyes. Always ordered the cheapest on the house and never tipped. Internally groaning, he placed a coaster in front of his usual seat. " water on the rocks with lemon?" the man, had to at least be twenty years his senior, gave a nod and Hidan smirked. "So what brings you into town today hmm Kuzu?"

Kakuzu just raised an eyebrow at him. "Obviously the invigorating conversation from a college level bartender."

The ice water might have slammed down a little too hard on the counter, popping the lemon off the rim.

"College level, yet certified.. Feel free to ask for my credentials if you fear I've made your ice water and lemon a tad _too strong_." Hidan turned to a different customer, refilling drinks and making more. He didn't turn back to Kakuzu for the rest of the evening until his shift was up.

Hanging up his apron and changing shirts, he made his way to the front door, checking his pockets for his keys and cellphone. "So you actually are a student." The question was asked from a voice entirely too close and he looked up abruptly before smacking into the wall of chest that was now in his way.

" I don't see why that's any of your concern. " scooting sideways to brush past him got his left arm snagged in a grip too tight. Every nerve and muscle in his body seized, his eyes firing into lasers. His right hand reached for his back pocket, wrapping around his collapsible spear.

" no concern merely a statement" Hidan tugged gently, "then let's step out and talk about your observational not-remotely-creepy statement shall we?"

Kakuzu twisted to face him, "if you insist"

* * *

"So what you're saying is you're being a spoiled brat?"

Hidan glared at him. "no, I'm saying please spend more than 20$ on sheets that we both sleep in."

"when you ruin them with blood every month that sounds like a bad investment."

Wrapping the sheets in his hand Hidan yelled into the pillow. Chest heaving when he sat up, the bartender stared at the wall, gritting his teeth.

Kakuzu moved to stand next to him, stroking his neck." if you'd prefer that I spend my money on sheets rather than your hair products, Hidan, I will."

* * *

_Tap… Tap Tap… Tap_

Hidan drummed ceaselessly against the desk, pen doing lazy circles on his notebook.

He could only do so many differentials before his head felt like it would explode.

Finally the teacher dismissed them. Swinging his bag over his shoulder he took the auditorium stairs two at a time to the door then swung off the frame to go right into the common area.

"Well, well look who's finally graced us with his holy presence." Yahiko quipped as he slid into a seat at the lounge table.

"Ya-huh right, you're one to talk. So how's economics?" Hidan snarked back, throwing his chair into a lean. He waved casually to Konan who'd lifted her head upon his arrival.

Yahiko snorted, turning the pages of his economics textbook. "Horrible, as always. We're getting lunch in 10, just waiting on Nagato and Itachi. You gonna come?"

Rolling his shoulders to untense them, he considered Yahiko's offer, the dive they usually ate at was just a couple shops down from the bar, he might be able to grab some spirits out of the back supply room for his later classes. "Mmm yeah sure, why not? Haven't eaten since this morning anyway."

* * *

Hidan sighed, "I'm not saying it's like that, he's...older. Got more experience than me with expenses. So I guess yea, I defer all that to him." Konan nudged him with her knee, smiling when he looked up. "So you defer to someone with more experience so you can learn, that's not a bad thing Hidan. Hell that's what I do with Nagato."

Running a hand through his hair, Hidan tried to puzzle out his feelings about Kakuzu. "I mean, I like the loss of control. That in itself is a reign on me. Makes me more level headed about studying and stuff."

* * *

Kakuzu eyed him. "So tell me what's going on."

Hidan looked back, wrist snapping his spear in and out of its collapsible state. " There's stuff going on at home that I need to take care of." he picked up his bag and grabbed his keys from the wall. "I'll call when I'm coming home." He wouldn't meet the older mans gaze.

Closing the door on his way out, he grabbed a second larger bag from the outdoor shed, hearing the familiar clink of the metallic blades inside. "yea… Stuff" he muttered

Turning his bike on, he gave a look into the side mirrors, heart panging as he noticed Kakazu standing in the doorway just watching him. This was about to be a really long month.

* * *

_Knock. Knock_

"Old man, open up!" Well who could that be. Kakuzu looked at his phone, 12:43am.

Sighing, Kakuzu made his way to the front door, unlocking it to stare at his partner. "do you even _know _what time it is Hidan?"

His eyes were red rimmed and his hair obviously hadn't been brushed in a couple days. "Mmm, some ass fuck time in the morning? Now would you move your ass so I can go put this up and shower?"

He moved enough for him to slide past, abruptly getting jerked to a halt by the hand on the back of his jacket. "you didn't call." hidan reeked of iron, the dried blood on his shoulders and in his hair didn't do anything to dissuade Kakuzu of the idea that whatever he'd been doing while he'd been gone wasn't good.

Hidan bit his lip " I was busy." Kakuzu's fingers sliding along the back of his neck and into his hair to start pulling slightly on the strands made him arch, groaning unconsciously. "o-ok maybe not _that _busy. I knew you'd ask what I was doing. I didn't need you to worry." Hidan stepped back into his chest to look up at him, violet eyes very much doing the sad puppy stare at him. Kakuzu gave his hair a sharp jerk then released him, "Go shower you idiot."

Hidan grinned, "Of course, Kuzu." making a move to grab the smaller bag he'd brought in. "don't think you need anything extra besides your body to shower Hidan."

Hidan tightened his smile. "heh, of course."

* * *

Stretching against the wall and bending forward, Hidan moved into the splits, grabbing his ankle on the left side, feeling the muscles along his side release to go farther.

"_and how many other people would be OK with your side hobby of monthly bloodletting?" _

Closing his eyes, he let out a slow breath. God why was this getting to him _now _of all times?

_He spun, scythe whipping out behind him to catch the fleeing pedestrians that hadn't moved fast enough. The hot spray of there blood made his pulse quicken as he licked it off his lips. _

**_-You dance with the devil-_**

**_-You'd better be careful!-_**

'_Hidan' the man standing before him looked ...familiar. In this state, it could be anyone. But he ...knew his name?_

**_-So you cry confess, confess!-_**

**_-You're a foul demon, a heathen, of malevolence!-_**

_Long, dark hair moved back to reveal a face he certainly_ did_ recognize. Kakuzu, the old man from the bar, who'd long kept his company on lonely nights. _

_Baring his teeth, he moved his scythe to point toward him, "Want to play Kakuzu?"_

'_You realized how dirty you are right?' Hidan gave him a finger, crouched on the ground, his other hand held tight against his stomach. Damn that punch had -hurt-. He spat out the blood collecting in his mouth. It's metallic tang now making his stomach turn. The spree was over. _

_His head hurt, he had quite a few developing bruises from there fight, and he was sure gonna feel that in the morning. _

_Unsteadily standing, leaning on the scythe more than he'd like to admit, he walked to his bag, pulling out his jacket, taking great pains to put it on, on top of his tender shoulders. _

'_I am. Fun's over, let's go home.'_

_Kakuzu stood a few feet away. 'What, you want to go now? With this slaughter scene?' Hidan snorted, ribs protesting at his gleefulness. 'Yea. No witnesses. They'll blame it on a mass murderer. The same one that keeps doing this.' It went unspoken that the mass murderer was _him_._

* * *

Hidan opened his eyes at the knock on the room door, rolling back down to be cross legged on the brown carpet. 'Enter.'

Hell that was a courtesy, this was technically Kakuzu's apartment, Hidan just helped pay rent. In exchange for some semblance of privacy and decent cooking for someone who spent the minimum on nutritional essentials.

A letter was tossed to him, "It's addressed to you."

He glanced at the handwriting. Well that was interesting. He hadn't heard from the Jashinist temple for some time now.

Tapping on his knee, he wished for about the thousandth time that he'd taken up a different hobby.

Bi-yearly they required a body count, or at least a rough estimate of sacrifices for Jashin.

Since he would partake in his ritual monthly, and generally lose track of time, he couldn't quite say exactly how many people it was. Obviously he wasn't going to trust the media to get it right, since they had at least tripled his body count, according to Kakuzu.

'Do you actually keep track?' he asked the miser, hopping to his feet. He placed the letter on his desk, grabbing a bowl and cup off of it that he'd left there the previous night.

Walking to the kitchen managed to release some of the jitters he was carrying.

'I do.' Kakuzu said, leaning against the counter to watch him. 'How high is it now?' He went to wash his bowl in the sink. The question was at least to sate some of the burning curiosity in his chest. "Two hundred and thirty seven.'

Hidan let out a low whistle. 'Not going to lie, I didn't think it was that much.' The Temple only asked for a hundred every year even from the high priests. Since he was still in school, his yearly quota should have only been...twenty? "Shit. So either this letter is a damn bunch of praise or I've attracted too much attention." Hidan swung the drying towel over the rack, twisting it around itself til his knuckles were white from the strain.

Kakuzu brought down two tall glasses from the cabinet in front of him, then taking out a bottle full of amber liquid, corked and sealed with white wax. Unsealing it with his pocket knife, he poured them both half a glass. He motioned back to the barstools at the kitchen island. "Sit, let me tell you something."

Hidan's curiosity peaked at the bottle being revealed, and did as asked. It wasn't often Kakuzu felt inclined to share knowledge, much less actual food and drink he'd paid for.

The drink burned his nose as he lifted it back to take a taste. Straddling the chair backwards, letting out a pleased purr at the stretch of his thighs, he sipped at the drink, swallowing against the slow building fire in his throat.

Inhaling deeply, he reopened his eyes to watch his roommate.

"To be perfectly honest, I believe you should take a break from the sacrifices for a few months. Find out if there's a safer way to do them without getting your sorry, stupidly ignorant ass thrown in jail. Not to mention that it would mean we wouldn't be horrendously behind on rent."'

Hidan downed the rest of his drink, wincing as he finished it. "So you just want me to cut down on the sacrifices to Jashin to save you from having to pay more rent?" He shoved the glass back at Kakuzu.

He caught it, grimacing. "Face it, your monthly antics are drawing attention. I'm seriously surprised the ANBU haven't tracked you down yet."

Hidan groaned, "Fuck, okay you're not wrong per say but damn I _like _the feeling."

"And you still have to finish school and maintain bartending while paying our bills."

"You are such a fucking ass."

_WHAP._

The slap wasn't altogether unexpected but it was definitely a call to fight. Hidan held his cheek, working his jaw. "Son of a bitch, Kakuzu!"

"And you're a cocky punk that prefers the changing spice of life than anything steady."

Hidan's eyes narrowed, fists curling at his sides. Swinging up, his hand met Kakuzu's shoulder with a satisfying crunch. He smirked at him. "Cocky punk huh?"

He didn't see the knee to his crotch coming, "B-gah." A whimper finished his word, as he crumpled to the floor on his knees.

Kakuzu stepped to his side, bending to lift his head and look him in the eyes, "Tell them you'll cut down. Then go to class."

Grabbing his keys off the counter and the still open bottle of spirits, Kakuzu made his way out of the apartment, the door closing with a finality.

Groaning, Hidan rolled over to his back, stretching out one leg. Now regretting his decision to stay the night, though he could easily call up Yahiko and ask to crash on his couch for the night. Especially since he was going to have to work two double shifts to cover Asuma this weekend.

Damn getting up _hurt. _Making his way to the freezer he grabbed a bag of frozen carrots and gently placed it on his lap.

Taking out his phone from his back pocket, he clicked open his IM's, typing a message to the first contact on the list.

**Metallic-reaper**: I fucking hate you

**money&silks**: yet you still live with me.

**Metallic-reaper**: keeps tuition down

**money&silks**: you have an issue with control

**Metallic-reaper**: i have an issue with getting kneed in the balls, Kakuzu

**money&silks**: make sure you pull out meat while your icing your precious injured pride zealot

**Metallic-reaper**: I'm going to let these carrots thaw on your bed old man.

Kakuzu clicked off his phone, smirking under his mask. If Hidan was serious about that threat, then he was going to be in for a sore work shift.

Readjusting the rear view mirror in the car, he recorked the cinnamon spirits bottle and put it in the middle console.

Working the college's financial department meant he got a fairly flexible work schedule since they only reviewed finances or counted tuition dues and aid twice a semester, once at the beginning and again at the end. There were 6 other permanent staff for the department and they only gathered to review a few times a month, otherwise just passed by each other in the halls.

The department head actually kept very decent records, so it was only minor management they input, usually just a few hours a week.

Rolling his shoulder to readjust it, he pulled out of the garage. The hum of the engine settled his heart beat. Getting hit and actually being able to retaliate in kind was always a thrill. Hidan was resilient enough to bounce back from a punch or two so he wasn't too worried about permanently injuring him.

Driving to the campus only took about 5 minutes, flashing his ID to get into the underground staff parking. The separate staff and student parking was probably the only reason Hidan hadn't noticed that he worked at the school. Not that he would care.

Checking into the building and getting to the department offices gained him half an hour. Hidan _should _be taking a shower, then heading off to his 7pm class.

Thoughts of the younger man sweat slicked and wet, dripping with nothing but a towel to cover him wasn't an uncommon one, since he was treated to the sight at _least _4 times a week. Hidan sure as hell wasn't ashamed of what he looked like, if his hygiene routine was anything to go by. He'd frequently come onto both sexes, much to the chagrin of anyone else in the area.

His phone beeped at him, light flashing green with an incoming message.

**Metallic-reaper**: chicken and what else?

He rolled his eyes, of course he'd be asking what else to take out.

**money&silk**: rice and carrots. Just leave them on the stove for me.

Since he'd get back in roughly an hour and a half, dinner would be done when Hidan's class let out.

**money&silk**: you don't have tests tonight for history?

He watched the three dots come and go.

**Metallic-reaper**: last i checked, no. Unless there's a surprise test.

**money&silk**: alright, Ill have it ready when you get back, now hurry you're about to be late to leave.

**Metallic-reaper**: bite me old man.

**money&silk**: don't tempt me.

Kakuzu checked his clock, 7:10pm. Hidan had 20 minutes. Going back to the calculating the latest students debt he mused, _surely _he'd take it seriously.

Hidan gripped the bars on his motorcycle hard as he signalled left into the parking lot. Unfortunately a lot of other students had the same idea and were either trying to come in for an evening class in the right lane, or were leaving the lot, making the flow of traffic severely congested next to his Economics building.

Gunning the throttle, he made his turn, ignoring the angry honks of the other drivers, instead flipping them the bird as the passed in front. Hell it wasn't like they didn't know who he was 90% of the campus passed through the doors of his bar at some point or another. And he stood out _remarkably _well in a crowd.

Snagging a spot a few rows down from the buildings entrance meant he had to jog to catch the door, sliding inside and yanking open his class door to scoot into his seat.

"Hidan" He turned to look behind him, "Yes, Professor Surozaka?" he grinned. His professor raised her eyebrows, "You were nearly late, be a bit faster next time if you would." Spreading a hand out innocently, "My apologies, you know how hard i try to not be late. I do prefer sitting to standing." Slipping his Eco book from his bag, he flipped it to the lessons chapter and prepared to spend the next 45 minutes to doze in and out of the lesson he'd already read through.


	2. Chapter 2 : Daily Life Scenes

**KakuHida Drabbles**

Kakuzu watched the zealot on his lap carefully. He *looked* asleep but that didn't necessarily mean he was. He was surprisingly good at faking sleep.

A gentle poke to his throat revealed that he was in fact deep enough under that Kakuzu could turn up the volume with no worry.

"You need to eat something, Hidan." He scoffed at the offer, spinning around to grab a granola bar from the cupboard, waving it at his partner before walking back toward the bedroom, "Fuck off about my health 'Kuzu!" the elder returned to his breakfast, humming slightly in satisfaction.

Getting kicked in the ribs, Hidan moaned and rolled toward the wall . "The hell was that for?!" He glared at Kakuzu who was watching him patiently. "Its four . Wake up."

Four...in the afternoon? They didn't even have anything scheduled to do. "What for? I don't have plans. 'S my day off, leave me alone 'Kuzu." He grabbed the pillow and put it over his head.

Kakuzu's eyes rolled, before he approached and just hauled Hidan off the bed. "Stop being stubborn Hidan." He got whacked in the face for that as Hidan thrashed to get free. Dropping him got him another dirty glare and Kakuzu smirked in response.

* * *

**Peace & Pancakes**

Hidan twisted to look over his shoulder as he heard the closing of a door. A quick glance at the clock in the common area told him it was well past the time anyone else would be up, which was why he preferred eating at 1am.

Deidara's ponytail was out and his unkempt hair was now nearing his waist. The blonde rolled his shoulders and yawned, arms reaching up to the ceiling as he stretched. "you're up early hm, Hidan."

The zealot just stared, motioning to the mixing bowl in front of him and to the hissing skillet on the stove "I'm cooking Blondie, pull up a seat if you want some."

Dei walked up to the bar shelf, sliding onto a stool. "so wha you actually eat this early or you just being an insomniac like Itachi?"

The mention of the Uchiha made Hidan chuckle "Oi Itachi, you hear that-he thinks I'm as bad as you." Deidara flinched when he saw Itachi's head pop up from where he'd been laying on the living room couch.

Itachi's red eyes were half open like he'd fall asleep any minute, "on the contrary Deidara, Hidan only does this occasionally. It's more… Peaceful."

A small syruped stack of pancakes was shoved on the counter, consuming Deidara's attention.

Washing off the pan and bowl he'd been using, Hidan wiped down the kitchen counters and grabbed the other two plates, taking a seat next to Itachi, who grabbed the second plate.

* * *

**Cleaning**

"You gonna clean the blood off those?" Kakuzu was looking down at him expectantly. Scythe dripping over his shoulder, Hidan's sneer might as well have been a spit in the face. Ducking under his arm, the zealot tried to make it inside the base. He was dirty, hot, and _damn it _if Kakuzu was going to stop him from standing under the shower for an hour to wash off the grime and sweat.

Knowing exactly what he was in for, he pursued his path to the interior of the base. The arm that was supporting his partner against the doorframe came down to pin him to the misers side. Snarling, he backed out and jerked his scythe across Kakuzu's waist. The scratch of red that beaded up was...somehow both satisfying and ultimately horrifying. Kakuzu had _let him _injure him. Jashin-sama save him….

The crack of his neck twisting made his vision blacken, "Shit, Kakuzu that wasn't supposed to...hrk-"

Son of a - that was his _tongue_!

Taking his breaths slow, he waited for his vision to reclear. Damn his tongue wasn't going to just grow back overnight. And having his partners skilled hands in his _mouth _wasn't something he wanted again just yet.

"So let me ask you again, Hidan. Are you going to clean those?"


End file.
